The subconscious is an odd concept. How are we to understand it? Is it no longer the subconscious once we recognize its existence? Can we even be conscious of our subconscious?
When my brother was in his late twenties or so, we were at a small family gathering. The song “I Just Want to Be Your Everything” by Andy Gibb came on the radio.
My brother Darius scowled and angrily said, “I hate this song!”
Darius’ wife joined in by saying, “He really does! The grocery store or anywhere we go, if we hear this song Darius always has to say how much he hates it.”
I was shocked and asked, “Darius, you don’t remember why?”
“I just hate it!”
“You really don’t remember why?”
“No.”
“I used to torment you with this song. I liked the song and would play it over and over again in my room. One day you came to my room yelling that you were sick of the song and for me to stop playing it. So of course, as a big sister I started singing it to you relentlessly. It got to the point where I never got past ‘For so long’ before you ran screaming out of the room.”
“No wonder! I hear this song and I just well up with this huge anger!”
We laughed at this amusing anecdote. I must have been around ten years old and my brother around five when this sibling bullying occurred, but it got me thinking. How much of our emotions are influenced by subconscious triggers? I suppose you could make the argument that my brother already hated the song and that is why he wanted me to stop playing it, but the degree of anger leads me to believe that my subsequent torturing him had more to do with the intensity of those feelings.
Do we really love the color blue and hate the sound of crinkling paper simply because that is our taste, or are there subconscious memories influencing our likes and dislikes? Once the subconscious is consciously recognized, does that change our feelings? Somehow, I doubt this.
My favorite color is purple and I love Godiva chocolates. Are there wonderful subconscious events lingering in my mind associated with this or are the color purple and Godiva chocolates simply awesome? I suppose it is along the same lines as the “nurture versus nature” argument, and I always find the correct answer to be both. We are obviously born with certain tendencies and tastes and we are affected by our life experiences.
Is there any point in trying to figure out why I love butterscotch pudding and hate seafood? Will I just try to discover connections in my subconscious that might not even exist? Most certainly if I keep at it long enough. Memories and subconscious associations are fascinating. They lead us on journeys and pathways through our minds.
It is fun to tap into those treasured associations when we find them. Isn’t that what sentimental objects and photographs are about? We look at that ticket to a play, souvenir from a trip—a snapshot of a frozen bit of time—and the feelings come rushing back. That’s why we keep those things around. When we want to escape into those good emotions, we look at that picture, listen to that song, or make a fried bologna and cheese sandwich. May we all find our “switches” to our precious and desired subconscious feelings and revel in the good ones.
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